Alyssa shelasky dating blog
"As soon as a woman becomes pregnant, nature takes over," says Rita Eichenstein, Ph D, a developmental psychologist at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.
"It's not that she's consciously pulling away, it's simply biology. And like it or not, there's nothing either of you can really do about it."The sooner you realize that your friendship isn't going to stay the same, the sooner you can start ensuring things change for the better, not worse. The first thing you need to do (after a couple of nights of sulking, of course) is realize that your feelings of betrayal and anger may say more about you than they do about your friend's pregnancy.
A friend's pregnancy not only can feel like a violation of your friendship pact, but it's also a big hit on one's social life.
"When my best friend at work got pregnant, I wanted to sob," says Erica G., 30, from Binghamton, New York.
Maybe you want what she has — a husband and baby on the way.
If it's any consolation, your friend's inability to remain the same person and friend after she gets knocked up isn't personal, it's science."I needed a friend who knew me on the level that she did to talk me off the ledge, and she just wasn't available."Well, of course she wasn't available — she was preparing for one of the most life-changing events she'll ever experience.We know this intellectually, so why do we still feel so hurt when it happens?"Suddenly, she was always tired and not drinking…and we always had a glass of wine to unwind after work.Without that ritual, I felt off balance." Brateman says the drinking-for-one component throws salt on an already stinging wound. This is another layer of loss in the friendship and your view of the quality of your time together," she says.
' It hit me hard, and I used her pregnancy as a catalyst to freak out about my own life status — that I'd chosen the wrong guys, that my job was going nowhere.